DEAR ABBY: My wife has been away for a while to care for her sick parents. Being alone, I decided to experiment with wearing women’s clothing and found that I really enjoyed wearing leggings. They make very comfortable pajamas. I also found that sports bras not only provide compression that feels good, but also serve a purpose as I have quite enlarged breasts. Should I hide everything and put away my leggings and bras, or should I tell her some of my secrets? — DRESSED IN CALIFORNIA
BEST DRESS UP: I’m not sure what other “secrets” you’re hiding, but when it comes to cross-dressing, you’re not the only man who has discovered that he likes wearing women’s clothes. You may be surprised to know that their wives help them do that. Your reasons for wanting to wear a sports bra and leggings seem practical. I see no reason to hide it from your wife.
DEAR ABBY: I am a widow. I wrecked my car four months ago and asked a friend, “Stan”, for the kind of help my husband would have provided. Stan was amazing and did so much. I felt bad that he refused my offer of money, so one day I took him out for lunch.
A few weeks later, he invited me to dinner and took me to my favorite steakhouse. He and his old girlfriend broke up because she sold her house and moved in with her son. We have started eating out once or twice a week.
Abby, after two months he disappeared! I think I fell in love with him without even realizing it. Now he’s gone every weekend and I’m in so much pain. I’m trying to free myself. How could I fall in love so easily? — DON’T EXPECT THAT
BEST DON’T EXPECT: You were vulnerable and Stan was there and seemed willing to step in and fill the void left by your husband’s death. That’s how you fell in love with someone who was, I suppose, an old trusted friend.
Stan may have met someone, have other commitments, or didn’t feel ready to start one with you. That he hasn’t given you a reason for his disappearance is disappointing, but it happens. Please don’t beat yourself up about this. You haven’t done anything wrong. These disappointments are part of life.
DEAR ABBY: I have been married to a verbally abusive woman for 49 years. To the outside world she seems perfect, but behind closed doors she is mean. She reacts angrily to the smallest problem and jumps in my throat when I ask her the simplest question. She complains about my poor memory and hearing. I’m 75 and in good shape, except for a tummy, which she often jokes about. I’ve recommended couples therapy, but she refuses to go. Please help me. — EXHAUSTED IN ARIZONA
BEST OUT: Therapy would be a good idea. Since your wife is refusing to go, it may be helpful to talk to a mental health professional. While it won’t solve her problems, it can help you get to the bottom of yours. Chief among these would be figuring out why you’ve tolerated name-calling from your wife for nearly half a century, and deciding what to do about it. Please don’t wait.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.