on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, On Wednesday night, Colbert hilariously went against science.
According to a new study presented Monday at the International Conference of the Alzheimer’s Association in San Diego, eating ultra-processed foods affects our health and significantly reduces brain function.
“Stop it, science,” Colbert said straight into the camera. “Just stop studying things. This is why people turn on you and start eating horse paste! Now what? Puppy kisses cause herpes? Exposure to Chris Evans destroys the ozone layer? Let’s just do fun things!”
Colbert also said the study was “ridiculous” because he eats processed foods all the time and he’s totally fine. However, he didn’t like the fact that Rafael Perez-Escamilla, a public health professor at Yale University, also told during Monday’s presentation that “just 100 calories from processed foods can affect your physical health. So that’s two cookies. “
Colbert joked, “Okay, if eating two cookies hurts my brain, I’m going to eat three more cookies to hurt my brain just enough to forget how bad it was to eat the first two cookies.” Of course, it didn’t stop at just cookies. The list of foods we should avoid includes everything that gives our lives pleasure and joy – bread, crackers, fried snacks, ice cream, candy, soda, etc. But Colbert made a good point when he said, “Here are some facts for you, science. If you want us to live long, you need to understand something: we all live just to get to the next cookie. Sometimes we stop eating for weeks to lose a few pounds so we can “Go on vacation and put those pounds back on while you eat cookies. The tide goes out so it can come back in.”
Finally, Colbert ended his funny diatribe by basically saying, can’t stop, won’t stop.
“I won’t stop eating cookies until I die. And if I die from eating too many cookies, then I won,” Colbert said jokingly.
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert airs weeknights at 11:35 p.m. on TBEN.
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