Last week, Twitter had a few choice words for Love is blind‘s resident square, MBA student Sikiru “SK” Alagbada – who decided at the altar he couldn’t marry Pilates instructor Raven Ross. But as hard as it was to watch Raven tearfully accept a hug from her fiancé’s disappointed mother, the moment pales in comparison to the emotional carnage of the finale that Netflix debuted this Wednesday.
Some of this week’s results (*cough* Nancy and Bartise *cough*) were somewhat expected. But another wedding almost rivaled Giannina Milady Gibelli’s runaway bridal moment for sheer shock value.
Where to start, where to start? Well, there’s last week’s cliffhanger: did Nancy Rodriguez and Bartise Bowden tie the knot after that extremely long hiatus where we left Bartise last week? Readers, you will be simple shocked only to find out that after weeks of telling Nancy, his friends, and every viewer at home that he’s not that into this relationship, Bartise said “no” at the altar after his fiancée’s “yes.”
Bartise may have turned Nancy down at the altar — after spending much of their relationship reiterating that she’s not his usual “type” — but it seems the man Reddit has dubbed “Barfsneeze” still hoped that he and Nancy could stay together.
After the ceremony was resolved, Bartise pulled his not-so-lucky bride aside in hopes of smoothing things out — at which point her family stepped in to give him a piece of their mind, even as Nancy begged them to to withdraw.
“What I’ve been through in the real world with you and with your family, and with everything we’ve talked about, there’s no way in my head that it makes sense to go there and say ‘yes’, said Bartis. Nancy’s mother and brother, meanwhile, refused to back down. Her brother insisted time and again that he hated being “right” about Bartise, while her mother insisted, “He’s not ready for who you are yet. Because you are too much for him.”
When the couple could finally find some time for themselves, Nancy told Bartise that he “gassed the hell out of me”.
“I was ready to marry you for who you were,” she said. “But in the end it was you who weren’t ready. For me, it’s not, “Oh, maybe it’ll work later.” For me it’s like, no, I chose you and you didn’t choose me… I said yes and you said no. How is that not black and white?”
Somehow that wasn’t even the wildest wedding – it was only the first. Next came Alexa Alfia and Brennon Lemieux, whose marriage clearly went off without a hitch because despite their many obvious differences, these two really do look great together! And then came the great, Cole Barnett and Zanab Jaffrey.
It seemed clear from the start that Cole and Zay’s wedding would be a risky business, but the way in which this one fell apart is somehow particularly confusing.
Cole and Zanab are one of those couples who seem to spend all their personal time on Love is blind struggling to get back what they “had in the pods.” That usually means they “don’t know each other,” but as far as Cole was concerned just prior to their wedding, the two had made some real progress — despite all the glaring signs that their relationship might not have been working out. As the groom said to his friends, “We’re really good now. Even when we argued, we were always trying to process something and get somewhere and make progress. I think a big part of our love story is that we came full circle.”
Zanab, too, seemed to be getting sentimental as she and her potential husband-to-be got ready to stroll down the aisle. “The fact that I’m here and Cole is here and we’ve fallen in love, I just believe God has had his hand in this every step of the way,” she said. “…I know I could have a happy life with Cole, but I need him to do that.”
“I don’t think I’ll know until I look up and see Cole, to be honest,” she added. “It will be at that point, I think, that I will know everything I need to know.”
At the beginning of their ceremony, Zanab said a prayer—“because Cole and I bonded”—thank God she had met him. She told Cole that before they saw each other, she had fallen in love with him because of the warmth she felt from him. However, when it came time for the vows, her tone began to change.
“I think I have a very good idea of the type of woman who is going to love you the way Cole has to love you every day for the rest of your life,” Zanab told her fiancé. “And I think you and I both know I’m not… You disrespected me, you insulted me, you criticized me and for what it’s worth, you broke my self-confidence on your own. And I hate that you had that effect on me.”
“You disrespected me, you insulted me, you criticized me and for what it’s worth, you single-handedly broke my self-confidence.”
“The messed up thing is, I know I love you,” Zanab continued. “But everything in me, in the logical part of my brain, tells me that love shouldn’t feel that way. Love shouldn’t hurt like that. I can’t marry you, and I won’t.”
When the woman he’d planned to marry walked back down the aisle from him, Cole kept it stoic at first. However, after a few minutes, he began to air that Zanab had never said so much to him during their relationship; instead, he argued, she had waited to do it in front of his friends and family because it would hurt him more. “That’s such a joke,” he said. “… She had fooled me, big time.”
“I knew we’re not perfect, but that?” he ended with a mockery. “It’s one of the worst experiences of my life.”
Something tells me these two will have some very interesting conversations by the time of the reunion.
Last but not least came Colleen Reed and Matt Bolton – the latter of whom fans have been clamoring for weeks about his jealousy. (Honestly, Brennon aside, this season’s dudes were less than inspiring.) Still, it was an enthusiastic “yes” from both bride and groom—and lots of “Holy shit’s after that!”
With all the champagne splattered, rings exchanged (or rejected), and “I do’s” and “I don’t” account for it, it seems all that’s left is that undeniably dramatic reunion. Based on what we’ve seen this season, it feels safe to borrow a popular catchphrase from a certain other dating show and say it might be the most dramatic Love is blind Reunion ever.