In 2011, Hayden Panettiere experienced something rare Scream 4. Her character, Kirby Reed, was the only survivor of the “Woodsboro Massacre Remake” – the Ghostface murder with the highest death toll – but I’m not talking about that. The actress herself also managed to make a mark on an already established franchise, transforming what could have been a throwaway character into one that fans couldn’t put down with. But I’m not talking about that either.
I’m talking about that incredible pixie cut instead — a masterfully coiffed piece of art that encapsulated Panettiere’s messy screen presence and inspired queer girls everywhere (or fine, maybe just this one) to consider the pompadour. Any pixie cut is a good pixie cut as long as it didn’t happen America’s next top modelbut a curly splendor well done is a marvel of both style and physics – a phenomenon to be revered and honored for generations to come.
Imagine my surprise this morning when I woke up to see that scream 6, they’ve replaced that triumph with the Applebee’s of hairstyles—the choice every woman makes at some point in her life, but mostly out of resignation for lack of better options. It’s a wavy bob, but also plain slightly too long for a bob. This hair lives outside the city limits of Bob Town just before you reach Lobsville – a miserable place for anyone to be. It gives graduation hair; it gives afternoon TBEN News anchor; it gives me stress migraines just looking at it because why does this wig look frizzy?!
This first image of Weekly entertainment will haunt my subconscious for at least the next two hours:
I’m not normally one to “sink that” but I feel like in this case I have no choice but to find someone I can borrow their printer from so I can hit the streets with “for” and “after” photos and implore everyone to think about what is at stake here. Someone has to do it something, and it seems the Scream 6 wig farmer has already done more than enough.
However, there’s at least one reason to be optimistic here: another preview image of it OW seems to capture Kirby working side by side scream goddess Gale Weathers, aka Courteney Cox. This could be our most dynamic duo since Skeet Ulrich and Matthew Lillard teamed up in the original. Maybe Gale could tell Kirby about that time she got a baby pony? Lots to think about!